CCN day

this year's CCN day looks fun and crowded....but it's actually crowded with alot of stalls tender...LOL...all mending the stalls...not alot of ppl actually...it's crowded n stuffy...make us(who is helping teo to distribute flyers) so tired...only distribute flyers ad target ppl for donation only leh...so tired....cos of the humid weather and the stuffy ennvironment ba? sandy's dog helped us to get quite an amt of donation...haha...$1 per touch! LOL...of course the main purpose for her dog's visit to TP is not to help us get donation...she came for the dog grooming...really DOG cos got that DOG SMELL! hahaha..LOL...and got this lecturer after knowing that it's $1/touch, he touch till gao gao den donate us $5...ROFL...easy money ar...haha...

lunch at Pasta Mania...vivi sandy piwen felicia and i gossips and talk about those XIANG DANG NIAN de stories...LOL...really OLD...felicia say i really changed alot...changed mature..feelings and looks...last time looks very energetic and bubbly and lively like that...got tt nian qing ren de feel...but now....haha...really change liao..mature...didnt really bother by what felicia and sandy comment about bein mature...cos i think, it's time to be mature at this age....in fact i think i need to be even more mature! haha...thought of uploading some of the old pictures up to see the diff...haha...but i think forget it..LOL..cos too many alr! plus i don wan ppl come bombing my tag board blaming me to put their DANG NIAN de pictures up....LOL...it's really fun looking back at all the photos and blog entries! ROFL!!!

travel on bus 72 again! :/ luckily i sleep and didnt think too much...

BUT...upon seeing her...ahhhhhhhhh...it all comes again!!! arrgh...

really afraid of losing her.....i miss her everything...i haven return her all the kindness or yang yu zhi en that she had given me.....really...i haven did enough of filial piety towards her.....and i really feel very bad and is full of guilt.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~! before...i told myself, i must let my children call her great- grandmother...i want her to take care and dote on my children like how well she have taken care of me...i want to let her see who will be the boyfriend of mine...i want her to attend my wedding, witnessing the growing up of me....i want to share alot of things with her...i have not started sharing anything with her yet! now all the chances are slim....i really miss her....i still cannot get it...why...why is it her? why is our family? it's always sighs and bu gan yuan in me.....i really......i donno...i donno how to handle this...i donno how to view this matter....i really miss her voice..i miss her calling me AH QIN....i miss her praising me....i miss her laughter....i miss together with my cousins making her laugh non-stop.....it's always fun with her....

she is everywhere in my life..really....today i painted my nails....if she's able to talk and move, she will hold my hands close to her eyes (as her eyes sight is falling) and praise that it's nice or maybe sometimes some not so good weird funny comments that will make us laugh....but i just enjoy her comments....every actions of hers will leave a big smile on my face.....all i think is her.....i miss chatting with her....how i hope she appears in my dream every night chatting with me.....

is all sighs and regrets.....i miss addressing you as MA!!! i still can call you MA..but can you really hear? do yu know if is qin who is calling you???