19 weeks leh!!!

today on e way back from school on bus 291...thgt alot and getting more worried abt next yr's trip to shanghai trip...i've been getting more n more emo recently....due to various reasons n issues....trying to find out what's e cause of this feeings n emo-ness tt i had....this kind of frequent emo-ness wasn't g00d n encouraging..affects the whole mood and the ppl ard u too! )= i think i'm changing...worst? donno why i'm thinking so much when there isn't a need to whr it does not benefits me too...i don't like the current me!

next yr i'll be gg to shanghai for OSIP for 19 weeks!!! 19 weeks = ard 4/5 months = almost half a yr!!! though it's not long but it isn't short either!!! i'll be gg in may and returns hm only in october!!! tt's long whr i'll miss alot of events in singapore!!! i'll miss alot of ppl also!!! i'll miss singapore's 42 birthday celebration! e main point of mentioning this cos it means i'll miss the fireworks season!!! ahhhhhhhhh...cry! i'll also have to celebrate my 19th birthday in china!!! omg...tt's so lonely n pathetic wif only felicia with me there!!! ahhhhhhh!!!!!!! )'= CRY!!! i'll also miss out alot of local great tv programmes and the scv programmes!!! )= i'll miss alot of my family and friends gatherings!!! i'll miss TP!!! haiz e thgt of all these miss-es makes me wanna to cry!!!

there's a list of things i want to do from now to next may!

1. i'm gonna to participate in as much school activities as i can...
2. i'm gonna to find one day during my last week in singapore to spend the day with chun wai cindy and sin yee...
3. i'll set another day for ronald, yew suan, amos, wu hao n etc...
4. i'm gonna to spend as much time as i could if all my family members whenever i can!
5. i'm also gg to set a day to sentosa before i go to shanghai! cos china wld be too cold for any outdoor activities like tanning and picnic under the sun!!! even i can, there wun be friends to accomany me to do tt!!!
6. i'll eat all my favourite local food before e day i set off!!!
7. i'll want to buy a good camera...
8. take group photo with chun wai they all and ronald they all!
9. of course with all my family members also!!! tt includes my grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins!!!
10. if possible, i'll also hope for a gathering with all Bizen ppl! plssss! (=
11. i wun want to miss any fireworks display from now on till may!
12. i want to go n do any activities tt i haven tried or thgt of trying a long time ago..
13. i want to watch lion dance! oh gosh i'll miss sept's lion dance competition!!! shit! )=
14. i'll visit most of the local places if i could! haha.. =P
15. i'll try not to miss any of my grandma's, sanyi's and mummy's cooking!
16. i wanna visit Wild Wild Wet!
17. i wan to lose some weight before gg there...cos i cant imagine the fat me wen i'm back cos of all the oily food in china!!!
18. i have to save money so i can use it in shanghai..yup there's no salary or allowance given..)=
19. hope i've e courage to settle some things tt i've been wishing to...
20. hope to find one day to go out with _____....hehe..(= up to ur guessing!

k i know i'm not as if like i'm migrating there permanently..even if it's permanently..ya i can always buy an air ticket n fly back home! but it's really unbearable to leave somewhr i've lived for 18yrs....it's the first time i'm leaving home for such a long period leh!!! at first i'm like...k it's alrite, e'tin will be fine and...time flies fast...but as each day went by, wa.....e thgt of it is like getting more worrying and i don look positive towards it....)= i even thgt tt i'll back out anytime even at e last min! but i told myself tt's a rare opportunity...i'll miss the chance if i forgo it for all the miss-es i had...haha...will my friends forget me? will u guys miss me? hahahaha..lol...worried tt friendship might get strain cos of the loss of long period of contact! will it b an awkward situation for me wen i'm back in sg? cos too long didnt contact...den like strangers like tt...haha...(= k i know i'm thinking too far away le...hee...=D