Skinny her

have been waiting very long to update this entry....


weekend was spent visiting my grandma....first look at her on saturday....only one word...SKINNY! become more skinny and looks pale...)= so i helped her to massage...clean...apply cream....whatever i can do for her....


i look into her eyes, holding her hand and i can see she is looking at me....i called her...eyes turn watery...tears flow out again...her stomach which was once big had become so small now....instead is my stomach growing bigger....=X haha...her legs had become so skinny....i pull up and i can see the bone......the hands too....it's so heart breaking to see all these....i cried but i control....


as usual got phlegm....so nurse was here to help her clear the throat....this process is never good....because a pipe has to go into the throat to suck the phlegm out...she will have to cough really hard till her eyes will open super big.....i'm holding her hands throughout this process....looking at how she is suffering makes me cry....i donno how many times i have to cry..i only know my heart is feeling very heavy and uncomfortable....the nurse saw me crying and told me it's ok and all....i'm not crying cos i scare she will not be fine....i'm crying cos of what she is going through and i can only hold on to her hands and only witness the whole process with my eyes!


i just cannot stop crying....have i become a cry baby?! ever since her incident...anything about her makes me cry....everything about her affects me alot....she is the reason for me wanting for longing that much to return to singapore! i miss her...i see her now....so? ha~ i donno...i donno what i talking about...haha...i donno how to describe the feelings i had the moment i see her....

the 3 baby cousin...they are forever baby to me...cos i see them grow up from a few months baby to this age and still going on...they are all my BABY COUSINS!!!

the red circled cheeky guy...name SHAWN (aged 7)...he is damn cute and is my precious! haha..he never fails to make me smile! and he is so sweet to rmb my birthday!!! tho i'm like in Shanghai! HAHA! and know what he say when he saw me inside the airport the glass door...neh neh i see her...the one with alot of PIMPLES! omg~ see how cute he is!

the pink circled lady...SAMANTHA (aged 10) another cousin whom i 'look after' since she's baby...i feed them, i played with them, i make them to sleep etc...haha..omg i seems so old...she has been growing older and bigger in size! trying hard to control her diet!!! she is the youngest female cousin in the family while i'm the eldest female cousin! haha

the blue circled....NICHOLAS (aged 12), another forever baby to me...this one i really look after him alot....feed him, carry him around, make him to sleep, play with him, bring him to school etc...he is my childhood...he is part of my childhood....see him changing from a super cute handsome baby to nursery kid with his forever mushroom head to now primary school and soon he will be in sec school! omg~ i'm old!!!

the posters by my dearest FAMILY and donuts by BWP and lesbie tan....

now you know why i love them so much? they doted me alot!

finally after 3 days, i cleared all the things...but i only categorise them in paper bags..have yet to really clear it all! haha!