Disappointed

Tuesday

happily went to school for Apel3 at 11am...after Apel, lucky draw-ed the christmas gift exchange thingy...ok..first round,my fault i missed out SzeHui's name and so winna didnt draw anyone...so we re-draw again...this round i'm sure i did not miss out anyone's name with szehui, jordan and nurul counting the number of people for me..! and ok we all drawn....and guess what...short of one again! i donno what happen and someon suggested trying again...and Joel said, "aiya no need again la..so ma fan...e'one just buy smthg, we then draw lots and exchange on chalet tt day..." wth..and they go off...WTF i did so much for?

ok i know writing out the names and tearing the paper doesn't mean really much...but it is the EFFORT and THOUGHT i had....e'one agrees for gift exchange...when unsuccessful, e'one just as they like, happy as they are and forget about e'tin and make such stupid decision....with no idea of whom to get the present for, how to buy sia! and funny huh...don wan to re-draw again during Apel and rather re-draw name lots again during CHALET! FUCK!

FUN huh...this is not troublesome...this is LESS TROUBLESOME as compared to re-drawing the names again at that point of time...now to me, i really think i shldn't be tt concern abt the fact that i'm unable to attend the first night and spent the whole 3D2N with the class...who cares man...i can don even care abt it! and i'm not bringing any presents to the chalet....unless everyone is serious abt the gift exchange thingy! if not everything seems like only the few of us are enthu and serious abt it....

i'm really disappointed....we did try... sometimes however the amount of effort or thoughts you have, things just doesn't turn out the way you want...sometimes if things are still the same despite your effort or thoughts to improve or change, i'll not make anymore or put in much of my effort and thoughts into it!!!

angel i take back what i've said last night....i realise i can't live to what i say....treat it as shit....
last year = shit = heck care = whatever = i wun qiang qiu to do anything but to grad with a diploma and friendships of those few clinques that i had......