relfection: i am really lousy!

reflections again and again....

almost everyday smthg will hit me easily and make me reflect on myself....
i am begining to know more and finding out more about myself...

i am not good...i am not mature enough to know how to handle all kinds of situations eg. this time the incident....i cannot think and handle it in a rational and mature mind set...i didnt know how to analyse and handle the situation...i didnt know what to do....

i hear them analyse, saying out possible cause and solutions...they can think alot of reasonable cause and solutions...but i cannot...i only know how to ask how how how why why why..what the %$#&@*!!!

i am very not independent and is very protected by my parents....i donno alot of anything fo the outside world....i am really very protected in my own comfortable nest.....

i am impulsive...i am not smart....i am unable to think rationally if problem occurs...i only know how to talk....ha-ha-ha..where is the action?! action=i didnt know what i can do!!!

i only know what is treasure, what is take things for granted, what is precious when i am facint the fear of losing my dearest one....what is society? what is public relations? what is real socialising? what is have to change accordingly to environment......?!?!?!

i am really lousy...i donno anything...i always donno what to do when problem occurs...i only know to be stress....now whenever there is problem, i didnt know what is accept and tears only know how to flow....what is happening? i am really terrible...before i can think more properly then now i can...WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!

i hope from this trip, i can be a better person and knows how to survive in a working society...i must learn how to know handle situations faced outside regardless at work or anywhere...

我真得很差劲!!!