Mysteriously weird

i've already forgotten what i wants to blog about....

Work is still great cos i'm able to keep myself out of house and being busy...but last 2 days due to both (k508) Cindy and my high efficiency and effectiveness....we have got nothing to do after lunch! haha...in the end i've to go ard asking for jobs...LOL....


Thursday...

Work was fine in the mrgn until some unknown-out-of-nowhere sadness came...started missing her again..damn...That day I looked for my facial auntie and so she asked about her....hat can i always say when everybody ask how's her condition and all...

Everyone (who's concern and worried): how's your grandma?

Me (know everyone's concern but i cant say any other things): ha~ like that lor...waiting only...

and i thgt and hope she wun go any further like usually when she asked about her condition...but for this particular session, surprisingly she just continue and continue tho she had spotted my uncomfortable facial expression....that day is mysteriously weird cos i got the feeling that 'i dont care if u wanna hear anot, i just wants to continue...' yes she's giving me these feeling...i can feel something is trying to make me listen to what she got to say and get smthg into my stubborn brain to accept what it is!

Tears couldn't be hold back as images kept flashing pass, and it keep flowing out from the corner of my eyes and she just keep cleaning it away from me and didnt stop talking tho she knows i'm crying very jialatt already....at first i still thgt she wun be able to see the tears when it started flowing cos she's like so enthu in continous sharing with me her mother's story and she didnt stop hen i expected her to stop when she saw my tears....it's really weird....she just clean it for me and continue (that's when i know she can see my tears and she doesn't wants to stop).....

i know i know there's something or somebody donno where trying to help me in this thing....i've got this strong feeling but it's me myself....is myself that i can't or i don't want to accept...i'm like rejecting alot of your kind enlightening words....i appreciate it but i didnt know why i just cannot....i just cant....

she is telling me alot....alot are unpredictable...life...that's life....what she told me C*H really sucks! and i totally agree...haha..i was so concern about face where there's one moment i really couldn't hold myself and i really cry...and i quickly cam myself down thinking...Hey i'm not crying alone with nobody looking at....it's so shameful to unable to controm youself right...haha...and i deep breathe to stop that so ridiculous crying...haha...

and at the month end, it all started...another one...hais.........when will you stop fooling us?!!!