Urges...

Time: 11.50pm, Tuesday Night
Date: 30th October 2007

I was doing CRM peer teaching assignment halfway where by quite a number of urges suddenly came…what kind of urges?

One: Wanted to sms or call sandy so much to see how she’s doing…but did not…because I don’t know how to start and it’s so weird to call her and say ‘Oh I just want to know how you are doing!’ hahaha…I am not the kind of person that will do these kind of things…haha…okay, we both had not really chatted or gossips or whatever since I’m back in Shanghai…right Sandy Tan? Haha...both busy with school work I guess? Or did I not make the effort to contact and find out how is she doing? Or too busy with own personal life le?! Hahaha…but seriously these few days keep thinking how she is…hahaha…Sandy are you doing ok? Anything feel free to contact me! haha…I’m always here for you, Lesbie!!! Wahaha…

Two: Wanted to message everyone to tell them to JIAYOU! Haha..cos I know everyone is stress too about school work, Major Project, personal life like family problem or relationships and so on….haha…but I did not do that because I feel weird doing that and also due to some constraints…haha…got this urge because me, myself is also STRESS! Wahaha..about school work…about major project...about personal problems.. LOL…haha…and I received news from friends who are facing all these stress too in all these different areas…but I’m like unable to be there for everyone…haha…I can only listen or ‘da ting’ from others? Haha…actions to be done by themselves ba? Haha..maybe I can only help cheer them up?!

Felicia you HENG I’m around with you most of the times tho no longer 24 hours la….HAHAHA! So now you know why I did remind you and keep JIAYOU-ing for you?! I reminded you to push and JIAYOU for each other…we both must really Jiayou…WE CAN DO IT….right?! Hee…still not very confident ar…hahaha…(= I think group members are important…they play a part in giving you confident, motivating and encouraging you to finish the project together with the best effort! Haha…if no group member never mind, individual project? It’s ok! FRIENDS will play the part project group partners are doing…haha…anything find FRIENDS…haha…if family helps for you, and then find them! Haha…FRIENDS can encourage, give you confident and motivate you too…haha...tho they might not be able to help you in project…haha..but at least there are someone there for you when you need confident, motivations or encouragement ba?! I believe FRIENDS will never reject rental of their ears for free…haha…I know mine will be there for any of my friends!

Haha…I didn’t know why I’m typing all these….maybe it is on purpose to some individuals…??? LOL…

I do TREASURE and APPRECIATE all the friendships I had now!!! like how much I treasure the kind of wonderful family ties I have had…((=

New phase of life coming...?

Datelines and datelines and so many more of datelines!!!

STRESS STRESS STRESS!!

Yesterday (Monday night) I chatted with poh (sinyee) on the phone…and I realize I did make decisions…I mean I can decided without being indecisive! Haha..i don’t see when I can really make decisions decisively…haha…and until ytd when I chatted with sinyee abt smthg and I realize it then after telling her…haha…I was quite surprise at myself…haha..i was quite happy with myself…maybe I’m growing up?
HAHA…thinking too much huh me?! haha…funny that she realize I read her like a book! Haha…I didn’t realize I read her like a book too after she told me…haha…but I don’t think I read you like a book yet…there’s more to read about you ba?! Haha…long way to go for our friendship right?! Haha…

Last Friday night….while waiting for terry and poh (sinyee)…chatted quite a lot with chunwai…and he told me…life is like this…whatever you have met are just part and parcel of life….cannot blame anyone but it all depends on how you view things…it all depends on how you take the part and parcel of the life that comes to you…and I’m again surprised by myself….I just agreed and said ‘ya lor…it’s really important on how you view things…’ haha…these few days I surprised myself a lot…haha…you said ‘in life, don’t be too calculative and be contented with what you have…it’s really important…’ haha…but humans are not FAN JIAN one! Haha…of course I did not ‘shoot’ him with this…haha…I just let him talk what he wants…=X haha…it’s like so serious talk la…haha…but really heard a lot and I thought I’m really childish and stubborn on how I view things and on how I take or handle those things that came into my life….

Last week (don’t know which day) during CRM lab….i was checking TP mail..and I re-read one of the mail Mr Teo sent to us when we are in Shanghai…it’s a motivating mail…I had forgotten what it is about so I read it again during the lab…the moral of the story tells us about UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE…

I’m trying to learn really hard…am I growing? I think a new chapter of my life is coming…Time to think of future? Time to sit down quietly and think of serious plan? I am going into a new phase of life real soon izzit?

HA~am I doing self-reflections? Or because I really got knock down by these conversations? Is it time for me to let go? Should I learn to accept? Should I learn what unconditional acceptance is? Can I do it? Forgive and Forget? All are easier said than done! I need a lot of courage and determination to do these...

HA~ emo? Thinking further and further…leading towards something I don’t want to think about…but it just leads me there…ha-ha-ha…((=

weekends are sinful!

woooo~ weekends are sinful for me! haha...of course don have to say...all i do was eat! haha...my aunties and uncles together with my mummy brought me to LongHouse for dinner after visiting grandma...wa...i ate chicken rice, fried oyster, popiah, chicken feet and hokkien mee! wahaha..delicious!!! and after that went to fetch Nicholas (cousin) and thgt of gg to bedok jetty but in the end we went to tampines GIANT....to help them to prepare to end operation for the day..hahaha...cos we reached there at ard 11.30? haha...

jasmine, felicia and qianyu...i get excited when i visit GIANT!!! wahaha...weird i went to look at maggie chilli sauce, detergent, yougurt drinks, ice-cream, VITASOY, tiger beer (having offer now!) and sanitary pads!!! wahaha...i saw 34cm's pad is having offer and i can only think of felicia and i quickly sms and tell her....wahaha..damn auntie...but i'm considerate to think of felicia k! haha..tho i know she can just use pampers instead of pads! =X wahaha...i so feel like buying anything i see in GIANT...as in chips, vitasoy, ice-cream, beer etc....all which we frequent bought at shanghai 's WenFeng...haha...but i see the price and the thought of that, i'm not paying for it....hahaha...and i can only fold my arms and keep my hands to myself! hahaha...hehe...and my xiaoyi bought sushi...wa...die....eat again lor...but i only ate one piece! haha...i got CONTROL! haha....

sunday...another sinful day...i had heavy brunch at 600+ bedok market..my grandma's house which is nearby mindy's house there...haha...food ordered are CHENDOL, (!!!) KWAY CHAP (!!!), soya milk (too bad the stall i frequent sell finish alr so i drank another stall which sucks!) and CHA KWAY(fried carrot cake!!!)....haha..omg i still got so many other food that i'm still craving in that hawker!!! haha..every food has some background behind it...

CHENDOL-i have been craving since before going shanghai..but always did not have the chance to eat it because i always frequent at the time where it either closing for the day or they did not open stall! arrgh...haha..last time it's dessert for all of us for almost every weekend at grandma's house!

KWAY CHAP- my all time favourite...memories~ every morning's breakfast...my ah gong and ah por will buy for me and siblings! memories~...i only like this market's kway chap! YUMMY!!! full marks for it!!! it never disappoints me!!!!

CHA KWAY- it must be WHITE with CHILLI! oh my...this is another one...contain alot of memories....whenever i eat it memories just flew into my head....my grandma always buy it for me as my breakfast! i did not like white fried carrot cake at all when young..and i still rmb when my grandma first bought for me i even told myself...huh why white colour one...tsk..haha...in the end i grew to love it...and i told myself YUMMY everytime after eating after that day! haha...really...i did not lie or trying to be emo again....so every now and then whenever i go to that market...i will want to eat that tho i'm eating other food...and my parents nor anybody knows why i like tt stall's carrot cake that much! and i only frequent that stall!!! mindy try it!!! haha...it's an old couple sell one...$2 per plate only...haha..CHEAP! memories~...

so afternoon, went This Fashion to try get sister's clothing for her temporary work....and next went to visit grandma....eat again when xiaoyi bought food.....shit...haha...and follow by dinner...i have already forgotten what is hungry for this whole weekend!!! haha...all i do is eat and eat!!!

sooo...tml is workout day! haha...piwen organise exercise day...so tml is BWP exercising day...we are gg to jog!!! hahaha...yea!



friday night...meet up with chunwai, terry and sinyee...for k-box session...they have been craving since 1 week before i'm back...also donno why they so gian k-box...haha...ok so i met up with chunwai after his work and we waited for terry and sinyee! wa...this two...really know how to drag...before that, they meet up with WanTing...so they're busy chatting till they've forgotten they got to meet the both of us...we had reached Parkway for hours and they are still on the way! -.- so nth to do but to crap and chat so tt few hours and in that few hours we realise te k-box is under renovation! ha-ha-ha...lost for that moment..called the both of them also useless cos in the end decision was made by us...so we went to Cineleisure...haha..and both of them were at orchard when with wanting...haha..but luckily got terry's car la! if not have to spend midnight charge cab fare! haha...it was fun..both terry and chunwai sang really well...as usual i pay $$$ to go listen concert! hahaha...no la..i did sang few songs....HAHA! (=

Changes...Feelings back in School

I was quite tired today...and slept just now when i'm back from school...

finally got time to update few things that I encountered these few days…on Tuesday, BWP had a celebration for sandy’s birthday cum a gathering at tampines stadium that Japanese restaurant…haha…and when it’s time to pay for bill…you know what I shouted? 买单( bill please in china)! But my mind was telling me to say bill please instead of买单 in chinese! And I was shocked by what I said and opps I quickly shut up…before I shout for 服务员 (waiter in china)! Haha…luckily my volume was not loud…if not I’ll be damn pai she…after hearing 买单 shouted out from my mouth, I quickly hide behind vivi’s back and laughed! Haha…it’s so funny n pai seh…haha…I actually have not adapt back yet….HAHA!

Next incident was at TM’s Mac….we bought ice-cream and slack at Mac…I wanted to take tissue from the counter….and I told the auntie I want 纸锦…haha…yes again…usually we will say tissue instead of 纸锦…and I kana shock and at the same time I’m laughing at myself…HAHA! again Felicia looked at me and laughed! Haha…it’s so serious la…haha…I speak so standard Chinese! Hahaha…

Wednesday (no school), I had Mac at tmart for dinner…and I wanted the garlic chilli sauce…I was thinking what is that call…甜辣酱 (sweet and spicy sauce in china)? NO! haha…and I was lost for words…and I just keep action-ing with my hands and I donno what am I trying to show…and in the end I said the other kind of chilli! HAHA…garlic chilli sauce was in my head but didn’t know why it just couldn’t come out from my mouth!!! HAHAHAHA!

Thursday, second day back in school…another language issue…rangers went to mensa for lunch…both Felicia and I queued for vegetarian food…and I saw potato…and I told her, ‘hey got 土豆 leh!’ Opps..again…I quickly shut my mouth and Felicia looked at me and laughed at me for being so cheena! Haha…in china potato is call土豆….HAHAHA…! damn funny…and since Felicia was laughing at me, I question her back, ‘ok so usually what we call potato in chinese?’ haha she answered me ‘potato lor!’ hahaha…I even thought it was 薯泥 (KFC’s whipped potato)…HAHAHA….actually we should feel ashamed of ourselves right?! Hahahaha…ok I know…potato is call 番薯….LOL…Jasmine I ate celery today!!! Haha…it was nice cos don have the celery smell and I told Felicia, ‘COMPANY de still got the smell, this one don even have the smell!’ yea…I said COMPANY and Felicia looked at me saying ‘Company? Ha-ha-ha…Compnay ar Company?!’ haha…cos I said like as if I’m still in Shanghai Amtek that company! LOL…I just couldn’t change myself back…haha…but I did not said all that on purpose…it was all naturally blurted out from my mouth….hahaha…

How’s first day back in school? The feeling was weird and I feel so old and odd…because I see all unfarmiliar faces…all the other seniors had already graduated and now I’m the senior already!!! OMG~ OLD!!! I feel weird to be in school…haha…I kept questioning myself ‘why am I in school?’ now and then even till today (the second day of school)..! haha…and out of no where I will ask myself like ‘eh where is jasmine and qianyu…what are ah pek, ah bin, jun wen and yong shun doing?!’ hahaha…my mind still stop at the stage where there are 8 interns in shanghai…LOL…yes kwa zhang! Exaggerating! Hahaha…donno how to describe but the feeling is just confusing, lost and especially weird!

My classmates? Omg…all the girls…all become so skinny and feminine! Peizhen changed A LOT! Haha…wear SHORTS, MINI SKIRTS (as heard from the others but I’ve yet to see it) and she wore shoes instead of slippers!!! Hahaha…omg…the feeling that she gave me are really different from before I went OSIP….she has changed…more feminine definitely and she is still as skinny as before despite all the titbits she had been eating! Next person…SzeHui…another one…I think she has also slim down….grown more feminine also…wear skirts now! Put on make up some more! haha…to me all the girls in my class are like all so skinny except me!!! TSK!! And all are so feminine la out of a sudden! Arrgh!

Ok the guys? Nth much…clement turn really dark, junrong change hairstyle, Jordan as beng as before, kwangming older? =X huiwei changed but I donno how he changed….zhiheng more mature and very loving with doris….wa doris another one! So skinny!!! Hais….dot…ramli more gay!!! Haha…joel still as so talkative…yaoqing better treat my fren well! Haha….did I miss out anyone?! Haha…hope no…I just feel so out of place to stand among the girls!!! No confidence at all! I feel FAT (actually, in fact I’m fat)!!! =X

Something funny…usually in shanghai…I will nag at Felicia to go to sleep early if not next day she will sure be tired and show me tt restless look in the office the whole day which I hate…haha…and soo…on Monday night where by Tuesday we will be going to school the first day! I donno why when I lied onto my bed….automatically…I just flip open my handphone and started typing ‘hey sleep early hor! If not tml cannot wake up den late!’ hahaha…yes different room, different block, different apartment, different roof, different environment etc….i still can sms n nag at her to sleep early! haha…but serious my naggings will then make her sleep if not she will feel weird to not able to hear me nag at her! Haha…and know what she also disturb my sleep as always!!!

Same thing… different room, different block, different apartment, different roof, different environment etc….she still don wan to let me have a good night sleep….because in shanghai she is always the one who wants to tell me or heart to heart talk to me at night only when I’m just about to fall into deep sleep! TSK…and on Monday night…same things repeat! Her sms woke me up when finally after few hours and I’m falling into deep sleep!!! And her content of sms had nth to do with me but regarding her things! Dot!!! IDIOT~! Haha…are we 2 really cannot be separate? Dot…and she is damn er xin to sms and tell me on the phone that SHE MISS ME!! oh my goodness~ I whole body was like….eerrrrwww….I’m like kwui qi lai de lor! is er xin dao~

Answer: DON'T THINK! (=

Felicia I do not like you! I don’t know if Felicia’s sensitivity is being especially high or what…she really sees me inside out! And I feel like…ha~ how come she knows everything about what I’m thinking and feeling?! Inside out! And I feel so not secure and it is like my territory is being invade! Felicia can you turn off your sensitivity thermometer! Haha…Switch it on when is needed…those unnecessary issue you can just switch your thermometer off….wa I feel so insecure now! haha…really….now u make me think more! (And I don’t like to think much!)

(Oh I know when I do feel insecure already! When someone knows everything about me…I don’t like it! That is why I don’t share all my things….haha…)

What you ask was totally almost right and I’m really shocked and too shocked and excited that I just shoot out ‘yes yes that’s right!’ and I was stupid to reply that eagerly without thinking…cos it’s that shocked that I ‘m surprise that someone knows about it and I just shoot out what my heart is telling me! Note it’s not my mind at that moment! Oh My God~ haha…that was impulsive and the stupidity of me!!!

Felicia…what you say are right….I thought of it before but I choose to not think any deeper and take it as it is….but now you seems like using a big big hammer (like your that inflated balloon) trying to break open my head and you just keeping shouting all these things into my mind….somehow like trying to knock some sense into my head….haha…

How? I know what I want to do…I know I don’t want to have any unclear relations with that person….I want to make it clear too….I waiting for that opportunity to come and make it clear of the relations that I wanted…..wasting of both party’s time is never at help…hais but like what you have said…I make it clear already so? It’s only the relations clear…but what about the mind and feelings?! I NEED ACTIONS!!! Yea…you are right and I know it all…but I have no idea what I can do….maybe like as you said…I need to instill new mindset and self psycho….I’ll think of ways to self psycho ba?! Like what you said it’s not fair to the others…and some sense had really been knock into my coconut head….you told me something which I did not think of….yea it’s unfair…which I hate people being treated unfairly whereby I have always been doing it without realizing….which makes me feel really bad right now…I see myself as being so blind to see this point of me treating the others that unfairly…Thanks for reminding me this…

But in anyway…at this moment, FAMLIY IS AT THE TOP OF MY MIND….nothing else…and I also do not want to know or bother or think much of other things…..I would not want to waste my time thinking of those useless or no outcome things….I do not need any of them, I just need my family people and friends! All the others are at the back seats of my mind and by right it should not occupy any of my time thinking of all these unnecessary things…I do not need it and I do not feel like having it…so I’ll just take it as it comes…I do not like to think much as I said…

Hmm…how do I or how should I phrase out what I wants to say…Felicia the question you asked on the bus was impossible and to me it is unrealistic…and I do think of unrealistic issue…so nothing will happen and I will not make situations turn out bad…so everything should be fine…I do not like to be fox okay?! (tho I always happen to be or looks like one! Opps…=X) If I want to…I would have done it since don’t know how many years way back! Haha…you got what I mean? Did I phrase what I want to say out clearly? Haha…NO I did not cos I don’t know how to! LOL…

Question: What is the use of thinking so much about this kind of issues???
Answer: DON’T THINK! HAHA~

Skinny her

have been waiting very long to update this entry....


weekend was spent visiting my grandma....first look at her on saturday....only one word...SKINNY! become more skinny and looks pale...)= so i helped her to massage...clean...apply cream....whatever i can do for her....


i look into her eyes, holding her hand and i can see she is looking at me....i called her...eyes turn watery...tears flow out again...her stomach which was once big had become so small now....instead is my stomach growing bigger....=X haha...her legs had become so skinny....i pull up and i can see the bone......the hands too....it's so heart breaking to see all these....i cried but i control....


as usual got phlegm....so nurse was here to help her clear the throat....this process is never good....because a pipe has to go into the throat to suck the phlegm out...she will have to cough really hard till her eyes will open super big.....i'm holding her hands throughout this process....looking at how she is suffering makes me cry....i donno how many times i have to cry..i only know my heart is feeling very heavy and uncomfortable....the nurse saw me crying and told me it's ok and all....i'm not crying cos i scare she will not be fine....i'm crying cos of what she is going through and i can only hold on to her hands and only witness the whole process with my eyes!


i just cannot stop crying....have i become a cry baby?! ever since her incident...anything about her makes me cry....everything about her affects me alot....she is the reason for me wanting for longing that much to return to singapore! i miss her...i see her now....so? ha~ i donno...i donno what i talking about...haha...i donno how to describe the feelings i had the moment i see her....

the 3 baby cousin...they are forever baby to me...cos i see them grow up from a few months baby to this age and still going on...they are all my BABY COUSINS!!!

the red circled cheeky guy...name SHAWN (aged 7)...he is damn cute and is my precious! haha..he never fails to make me smile! and he is so sweet to rmb my birthday!!! tho i'm like in Shanghai! HAHA! and know what he say when he saw me inside the airport the glass door...neh neh i see her...the one with alot of PIMPLES! omg~ see how cute he is!

the pink circled lady...SAMANTHA (aged 10) another cousin whom i 'look after' since she's baby...i feed them, i played with them, i make them to sleep etc...haha..omg i seems so old...she has been growing older and bigger in size! trying hard to control her diet!!! she is the youngest female cousin in the family while i'm the eldest female cousin! haha

the blue circled....NICHOLAS (aged 12), another forever baby to me...this one i really look after him alot....feed him, carry him around, make him to sleep, play with him, bring him to school etc...he is my childhood...he is part of my childhood....see him changing from a super cute handsome baby to nursery kid with his forever mushroom head to now primary school and soon he will be in sec school! omg~ i'm old!!!

the posters by my dearest FAMILY and donuts by BWP and lesbie tan....

now you know why i love them so much? they doted me alot!

finally after 3 days, i cleared all the things...but i only categorise them in paper bags..have yet to really clear it all! haha!

I'm HOME II

Part II

haha..on the plane....feliCAI spilled her orange juice onto me...dot....so my jacket and my jeans kana! -.-" the air stewardess was so apologetic about it...haha...but luckily the flight is long enough to let my pants get dry....

when we reached singapore and i see all the tiny orange lightings below the plane...i get excited and i cried! haha...yes silly me...i'm really happy to be able to get home!!! haha...told you...i didnt know why my tears drop so easily now.....haha~

we got down the plane not very fast cos there are alot of people....so we let them off first...wa...it's so heavy to carry my bagpack which contains all my notes, books and laptop...i can't walk right up straight instead walk like LiangPorPor! HAHA! we got the trolley as soon as we cross the custom! haha...felt so relieved without the heavy burden on my back! that's y i appreciate how the guys helped us to carry our luggages...lol...

jasmine, feliCAI and qianyu busy choosing vodka while i looked after the trolley..dot...after felicia had settle her bill...we both pushed to the conveyor belt to collect our luggages....i see my family ppl...haha...yea...tears again....never mind i controlled...so all the tears go back in...haha...

then as i pushed my trolley nearer to the glass door..i saw a poster with all of my family people waving, smiling happily at me! haha...omg....this time round, i really cannot tahan...the tears came rushing out again! haha...i'm shocked and touched by the poster! haha...they really did a poster for me!!! haha...it's so ugly la....i cry as i push the trolley out...thanking all of them...haha...and my little cousin drew drawings and cards for me! i've go a present too! haha..at that moment, i felt happiness...i'm so fortunate to have such a wonderful family! i felt that i am seriously being loved and was being doted too much!

next the BWP! they bought donuts for feliCAI and me! haha...another surprise! they got a poster too...a A4 paper...haha...and i heard it's only to welcome feliCAI only lor! TSK! haha...and sinyee came too! haha...so happy to see all of them!!!

my aunties and uncles drove me home and they went for dinner....i didnt join them because i've already dated terry, sinyee and chunwai for supper...felt sorry cos i think they on purpose waited for me to have dinner together but i already got plans...

terry, chunwai and sinyee came to fetch me under my block and we went to geylang for frog congee and we slacked at tmart till 3++am....laughed and it's very entertaining...they made my day! heard updates from all of them...felt quite sorry that as a friend i can't be around when chunwai is going through some upsetting moments...

but anyway....thanks for bringing me out for supper though you all have to work, just book out from camps and all...haha...though everyone is busy and tired but you guys made an effort to welcome me home!!! THANKS!!!

THANK YOU BWP!!!

THANK YOU SINYEE, TERRY and CHUNWAI!!!

THANK YOU TO ALL MY FAMILY PEOPLE!!! ((=

I'm HOME I

Part I

yeah i'm back home!!! i'm back in singapore!!!

19 october is a happy teary touching day for me!!!

recalling back in shanghai pudong international airport...the guys together with wu lei...fetch us from our apartment....they helped us carry the heavily overweight luggages down to the vehicle...on the way to airport...the situation is like quite weird and i can feel awkward-ness..haha...also donno why....i only know i keep smiling non-stop....happiness felt in my heart and the smile shown on my face! haha..jasmine who is sitting opposite me (facing me) just couldn't tahan that i keep smiling at her...LOL...

as soon as we reach the airport...trolley taken to put our luggages and we pushed to the check in counter but it is still very early..so we took photos (still in ah pek's camera) and we walked to KFC for lunch....cos the guys didnt had their lunch before coming to fetch us....haha...wu lei joined us for lunch too...

after lunch, we met Arthur and Xiao Shen at the counter...cos they came to send the lady boss back to Singapore...yes same flight as us girls.....

we checked in successfully! luckily the counter girl was kind enough to let all of our luggages in....ok so first stage CLEAR! haha...my luggage weighed at 31kg! jasmine's 32kg! felicia and qianyu's only ard 29 or 28kg..haha...si Arthur keep saying ji siao us upon looking at the size and thickness of our luggage! haha...
First Stage - CLEAR!

sign of relieve shown after stage 1...haha...but Xiao Shen was with the serious, stress and worried face....she is very worried for us....ok so we carried our packbag, laptop bag, hand carriage....and off we proceed to the next stage.....and......we failed to pass the second stage! haha..idiot policeman....so Xiao Shen and Wu Lei suggest try to go in by another gate....so we tried and this time round, we separate...i'm the first and i got in successfully! haha! so i waited for felicia....but she failed to come in.....wa....worrying and scary....i'm inside and i couldn't go out to help her...wa den her face like so stress and is like gg to break down anytime like that...so i can only see her and hopefully she gets in....soon jasmine and qianyu had already joined me inside....felicia had to try the next door but still kana rejected...cos her bagpack too PONG and her laptop bag too thick already.....and she has to go to the security counter....Xiao Shen and Arthur helped her to distract the security's attention and she managed to get through by checking in one of her hand luggage! haha....poor her.....sooooo second stage after first try we all CLEAR!!! haha...

when we all got in....stupid emo feliCAI started crying...idiot make me cry also...cos we are really touched by what Xiao Shen, Arthur and Wu Lei had did for us....they worried for our weight luggage...accompanying us through every stage.....they came to send us off....feliCAI was touched and at the same time abit kana scared by the situation she is facing earlier on...she is very worried she have to pay money for the excess weight baggage! haha...idiot...so i'm affected by her tears!

on the plane...already flying up in the sky already...and yea...she starts again...emo~...but this time round is i cry first! haha...cos she ask me question like...will i miss sh or whatever those same question again...she has been asking me this question ever since we touched down in shanghai! and for me...my answer had not changed untill the last week i had in Shanghai....the people that appreciate and whom really treated us as friends gave me warmth and their actions touched me....they make me add on something else to my usual answer...

before, my usual answer is: no...i wun miss here....not the life or environment or the place...maybe just the freedom i had and the shopping ba?!

now, my updated answer: i will still miss the freedom here.....but i will also miss the people here....they make me miss Amtek.....

haha...so i told her my feelings and thoughts....i felt touched by all of their actions....i thought we might not leave any impression or anything on them...they might not remember us as clearly as the previous batch...but after seeing all what they had done for us...i think we make a difference....we make them remember us..i mean....i can feel that....they wun forget us....because i thought previously we are just another batch of students who are in Amtek but we aren't really close to them as compared to the previous batch....but now it doesn't seems like the case.....

anyway i just appreciate what they did for us.....i donno what to say to them...speechless...but only the word THANK YOU!!!

oh other than Arthur and Xiao Shen...i have to thank the guys....esp. ah bin and ah pek! for taking care of us this 4 little girls....lol..as compare to their age, we are like small girls...haha..if not how ah pek this name comes about?! haha..you all are another additional bonus memories for our OSIP trip....i donno about the others but to me you all really make a difference! without you all, our last week spent in shanghai might not be as fun and memorable!

THANKS again...(=

Random: Emo..sudden fear

donno why....today on the way back home....the sudden fear came again....donno why....it's still that scary and make me feel very insecure! .... hate this feeling!

i'll be back in 4 days..! and i'll have to face it in ???? days.....i miss her....

ha~ emo again...

*Ps: felicia sorry for today's temper! (=

Saturday: the Bund with the guys...

weather is turning cold!!! finally after monday's storm...it's AUTUMN!!! haha...

the new batch of of sudents are here since wednesday! haha...4 guys whom are all older than us...the youngest is 20 years old (same age as qianyu) while the oldest is 26 years old!!! oh my god~! hahaha....3 had gone through army but not the youngest one...

it's so fun to have so many people working together again! haha...our cubicle are so squeezy suddenly and it's so noisy...haha..we have 8 ppl having all the meals together...it's fun! haha..time passes very fast....which is good! haha~...

Saturday:

landlord came to visit the new batch of guys....haha...this is the last time i'll be seeing this kuku landlord...yea i don't really like him! he don make me feel good! the cleaning auntie was kana treated fried squid by the old guys....haha...

we brought them to QiPu road...they bought nothing much and we girls bought nothing much too! it's serious..i'm not lying....our bags are like only 1 each! haha...yes i know it's the first time i say we bought nothing much....it's very crowded there...we all had heaache after visiting the place....in addition to the cold weather and all of the cold wind we 'enjoyed' while walking on the way there...

the 4 new guys: the ah pek (uncle david), yong soon, ah bin(zheng bin), jun boon(the youngest)

us...slacking at the open area along nan jing dong lu.....

dinner was steamboat at NanJingDong road followed by the Bund (WaiTan)...i'm not sure why i'm so energetic while on the way walking to the Bund....as i was talking, crapping and lame-ing throughout the whole walking journey.....cam-whoring non-stop as soon as we reached the place...haha...we all were finding a right angle to try to take picture with that pearl....haha...also donno what's so nice abt that big marble look alike ball! haha...and i was always trying to get into photo and be the 'model'...wahaha...FUN! of course i did use my golden hand to self-take with felicia's handphone! hahaha....(=

we slacked there around for awhile and chit-chatted till around 10pm....

Emo: am i tired of it?!

so much of those happy no worries post? now...a emo post...a questioning post....a contridicting post....a post of fears and worries....

i've been looking forward to return back to Singapore ever since the second week here in shanghai..but now...i'm worrying and had some kind of weird feeling that i doesn't wants to go back...it's not about missing or i can't bear to leave this place...i know and u all shld know that i have been waiting...waiting for the day that is coming in 10 days time...i very much want to go home, to see all my family members...to reunite with them....but somethings just makes me reluctant to go back....

now seriously i'm asking myself...should i be happy that i'm going home in 10 days time....should i? or say i should ask should i not?!

hmmm...a tough question huh? always contridicting myself...ha~...

alot of those 'what if ' questions appears in my mind again...what am i thinking? i know...sooner or later i will still have to face the reality....i know the day will come no matter what...and i have to face it no matter what or no matter when it is.....but i just don wanna face it....facing this cruel truth is like the most difficulty thing for me....maybe i sounded too over or being too over exaggerating....but this is the first time how i seriously feel...i've never been this scare before....i can breakdown easily just because of this incident....the thought of it can just make me cry....it's just only the thought of it that can already make me cry....what do you if it's the reality....and i've to face it...i donno if i can take it....

i feel sooooo ultra small and useless whenever all these things start....it makes me feel very weak and i don't feel like facing anyone.....i just wanna be alone....i feel so lonely that i need a hug badly whoever's hug it was...i just need someone to hug me tight to prevent me from collasping....i donno what am i thinking.....

i tried very hard to not get myself too affected by all my thoughts....but the tears just keep flowing and flowing....where can i find my body's tap, the main switch to off the tears pipe?! it is really the most scary feeling i ever had.....i know i had been too protected before...i realise i have been too naive before that i thought i wun lose anyone...i thought i wun lose anyone in such a terrible and awful way....i took happiness forgranted and i really do regret it......any more chance given to me? maybe you thought you had given me enough chance but to us, humans, we are selfish and wanted more and hope that the supply is unlimited.....i know you aren't that generous.....

what can i do?

i know the obvious answer is to stop avoiding and face it....but i don't have that courage....i lack of that huge amount of courage.....or maybe the courage has alwasy been with me....but i'm just finding excuse still to avoid the reality....is it all about myself? is it all about whether i want to accept it? is it me that is just trying to be funny and stubbornly wants to keep on playing emo all these while to avoid the reality?!

sometimes i'm just so tired to keep recieving all these news....i tired of you always bringing us high up, giving us hopes and dash it all up and pull us down right to the bottom......i can't be bother sometimes...i don't want to let it affect me...but it still affects me badly!

am i still hoping for miracles? or miracles had always been happening already? or have i given up? i have not, right?! i'm still hoping for more right? maybe or maybe not, i already have all these answers in my mind....

THANKS JIE YI!

THANKS JIE YI FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY CARD!

Stamp from Singapore!!!

Opening it.....

a closer look..yea 3D again! this year i've got 2 3D card! (=

though it's abit late...haha..never mind your wishes are still sent to me and i can feel it! ((=

i LOVE it... THANKS!!!

Jin Jiang Le Yuan-Shanghai Amusement Park Part2

Jin Jiang Le Yuan Part II

Third ride: Pirate Ship **

this is a fun fun fun ride! lol....it's not because it's really scary or exciting...the queue was also not short but it was fast enough to reach our turn...as usual...the only thing that can occupy ourselves while waiting are of course camera!!! but ours are sony ericsson handphone...hahaha...most of the time were qianyu and i in the queue...so we start our zhi lian-ING using my golden hand! haha...

>>>zhi lian-ING...lol...

while in the queue..we watched the people play the pirate ship...and the people are so calm on the ship..they aren't shouting nor are they excited! haha...only some ships of passengers self high...as for those calm calm one....those leng jing pai one...we shout for them...LOL...we are even more high than them sia!!! hahahaha... finally our turn but we on purpose let the others go off first...cos we wanted to choose the back seats...it's our turn!!! haha..and we chose the back seats...and there's this couple with 2 of their guy friends sat in front of us....ha-ha-ha-ha....they will be deaf!!!

as soon as the ship starts...we start with loud screams! haha...as i proposed...we screamed next to their ears!!! wahaha....we did not ka jiao the couple but only the other 2 guys who had been covering their ears throughout! haha...they are prepared...they like already know we are gg to do that before the screaming starts.....ROFL...jasmine who is sitting far right...even stood up and stretch her body over to our side and scream beside the guys' ears! wahaha...it's damn fun!!! HILAROUS!!!

qianyu videoed down the scene...haha..felicia saw the people who is in the queue below are pointing at us...wahaha...lol...we are self-high-ing la! haha...it's really fun...i laughed non-stop...till my cheeks ache...hahaha....tt's one thing when you are overseas..you can care about nobody....heck care how they view you and does what you want!!! this is really fun!

Fourth ride: Roller Coaster ****

>>>we still have a long way to go..

omg..it's my first time taking the roller coaster....yea it's my first time...believe me...hahaha...we witnessed 2 CHEATERS again...the first one we exposed them and they acted blur as usual...this ride is damn damn long can....we waited for near to 2hrs?! another couple..the female is more daring and thick-skin....she managed to cut right far in front of us without us noticing...haha...cos i had been talking non-stop to the girls and looking at my temporary eye candy! LOL...he has a pair of attracting eyes! =X the male don dare to cut and was all along behind us until he has the opportunity to jump over to join his girl friend...he cut the queue too! arrrggghhh.... damn! we can't do anything and just keep on purpose talking loud about them....saying them being so thick skin and JIAN to cut ppl's queue like this...and i think the person behind them also not happy after hearing what we said and i think they did confront them...as usual...CHEATERS like to ACT BLUR! angry! haha...

>>>we took turns to queue and to take photos...(=

ok back....this ride is damn thrilling and exciting....fun....i just ahhhhhhhhhh-ed with my eyes shut throughout the whole ride...except for the start of the ride....i opened my eyes where both jasmien and i were telling each other ' i very scare...omg omg....' hahahaha...tt felicia is crazy...is damn daring! she sat the first seat, pulling qianyu along...LOL...haha..jasmine and i took the middle seats...hahaha...it's fun....hahaha...it slowly moved to the top of the track and back tracked down fast, making a circle loop turn to the other end of the track and it speed back down from that end and turn another circle loop before ending the ride! hahaha...to me that was thrillng and fun...haha..i laughed non stop again after the ride...haha...i think i'm crazy...i laughed and gets high when i undergo any thrilling rides....hahaha...funny....

>>>yes i AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...-ed throughout this cricle loop!!!

Fifth ride: Italy Roller Coaster *

>>>see the beautiful Ferris Wheel!

the sky has turned dark..and lights are all switched on! the amusement park are lighted up! the XTRA XTRA LARGE size Ferris Wheel also light up!!! omg...beautiful....and the merry go round! haha...so fairy tale to see the Merry-Go-Round turns merrily with lots of tiny gold lighted blub around it...hahaha...bubbles will be drawn above your head and imaginations will start.....wahaha...

we went to took the Italy Roller Coaster ride...as the night is growing...the queue gets shorter too..haha..so the waiting time for the ride is short.....we thought it was going to be like escape's panasonic before we go in....because it's inside a cave (of course it's man-made)....so we thought it's gg to be dark inside throughout the ride....however, it is not very dark inside and the lights are switched on for the second round of the ride...so it's mama desu (with the so-so ok-ok action)only...not scary at all...haha..

Last ride: Swing *

>>>ready to get fly up the sky!!!

this ride is also to enjoy the breeze only...it is like sitting on the swing for except that we are flying and it swings itself...haha..aiya exactly like genting that swing ride la! haha...but this is nt v fast.....qianyu videoed down the ride too...i close my eyes and enjoy the breeze and i can feel that i am spinning and spinning....as if i being brought back to the past....the before...haha...if that was a real time machine and it can bring me back to the past...! ..... HAHA! (= after the ride, we took numerous photos with the beautiful Ferris Wheel and the Merry-Go-Round...haha...

>>>FERRIS WHEEL & MERRY-GO-ROUND as the background!!!

qian yu keep wanting to take the Ferris Wheel ride and i suggested open number to be fair to decide if we were to pay money to sit the Ferris Wheel or to end the day...haha...and in the end the result are that we will end the day! haha...on the way out, we cam whore non-stop la...hahaha...

>>>the Paris Tower!!!

we walked to the MRT station and ate KFC....we enjoyed our meal and chit-chatted till 9pm plus...we chatted from chalets, bbq, class gatherings to dogs to traditional ice-cream to childhood titbits, ice sticks to Tampines to favourite heartland places to Ge Tai to Liquor and alcohol to food for family ppl to what we going to do on the last night in shanghai....LOL...we continued with the conversations till on the cab till we reached home!

>>>this is Shanghai Amusement Park!!!

overall yesterday's trip was fun and enjoyable...better than travelling to Hangzhou or Zhu Jia Jiao or where....another memory of Shanghai....scolding ppl is enjoyable too! =X hahaha..

CLICK Part I

CLICK Part II

CLICK Part III

Jin Jiang Le Yuan-Shanghai Amusement Park!!

Jin Jiang Le Yuan (Part I)

>>>the entrance which was taken only when we are going off! =S

according to our schedule...we are to be at Shanghai Amusement Park (Jin Jiang Le Yuan)....and we did went! wahaha...fun fun fun...ok la...most of the time we are high-ing ourselves...we bought a RMB$70 tix which allowa us to play 6 rides...and we did played finish all the 6 rides...haha..we took the the Spinning Coaster, the Log Flame, the Pirate Ship, the whatever Roller Coaster, the Italy Roller Coaster and the Swing thingy...

First ride: Spinning Coaster (自旋滑车) **

it's a smaller version of the roller coaster ride...we queued for 1 and half hour plus plus for this barely 2mins ride! ... haha..under the hot sun! the national holiday which last for 1 week has not end...so tt explains why the theme park is filled with the locals! their one week holiday is known as the Golden Week (黄金周)...the coaster have 4 seats and it will spin as it goes up the roller track...lol..a short n small track....ok la the usual mini cosater ride lor..haha...we scream for the sake of screaming and to self high....hahaha...>>>finally after 1 hours plus plus of waiting, we reached the entrance of the station!!!

Second Ride: Log Flame (急流勇进) *

disappointing ride which i most look forward to...cos we can get wet! but the splash isn't any bit of big or high at all! the slope is not steep enough...and the height not high enough...and this is the ride which made us queued for the longest hours...we queued for around 3hrs!!! while queuing, we 4 girls took turn in pairs to go around the theme park to cam whore and to fill our stomach....we met this nice granny who is queuing behind us...we chatted with her and she even encourage felicia and me to go take pictures and she help us look after our positions....lol...the adults here treat their kids like gold la...so precious...they queue for their kids while the kids go play other rides...and the granny is one of them..queueing for her gradnchildren....

>>> we are reaching the boat soon!!! after numerous CHEATERS!!!

we have thought that the reason for our 3hrs queue is cos of the number of ppl who keep come cutting into the queue!!! arrrggghhh....wa we are super angry...they are alot of groups of ppl who are damn thick skin and faceless to dare to openly cut our queue right in front of us!!! yes they are dead to meet us!

the first group is a family...together with the second group, a father and his son....diao...felicia and i were not around...so we heard it from qianyu and jasmine....they were too kana exposed by them and know what they go and queue behind the granny after cutting right IN FRONT OF US!!! hahaha...then he 2 ladies at the back still donno their queue got cut already cos they're busying talking on the phone! in the end thr granny told them in shanghainese and we called both of them to come and queue behind the granny...and tt family who cut queue one still gave that...Huh? wth how can u all cut queue...so unreasonable those face la! HUMHP...idiot...so he also know what is the feeling of your queue being overtake by some out of no where de cheaters!

the third group, one guy followed by his girl friend and slowly their 2 or 3 friends join in....STUPID...it's obvious that they are cutting queue cos they are already forming another line, they are not in the queue! we expose the girls..and that idiot guy still act blur and laugh looking at us la...his laughter is like those ha-ha-ha-ha~ heee...those kind...thinking we did not see him if not we will let him off! HA-HA-HA! he's real wrong! we said to him 'eh u also...cut queue one..still stand there..the queue is at the back...don think that we didnt see you!' and so he no choice and have to walk away...hahahaha...i think the granny feel safe with us! lol...

the fourth one is a couple....bastard....he brought his gf into the queue and wanted to cut in front of the girl who is in front of us...and damn stupid la...she don dare to say out...her friend who is previously here, scolded the other family that cutted her queue...this one here doesn't dare to voice out...so we helped her! we say the guy, 'eh the queue is at the back, don cut queue hor....we queue for so many hours and let you all cut queue ar? think of yourselves only....' the four of us add in here and there to bombard him! wahaha...he's unhappy and replied us saying, 'what...who say i'm cutting queue? i'm just only standing here!' where he is inside the queue that string....hahaha...so felicia replied him immediately, 'OK FINE THEN YOU STAND HERE...YOU BETTER STAND HERE AND DON'T MOVE!' wahaha...and we the other 3 follow after her!!!

his blood boil cos we made him xia suay!!! wahaha...and he still dare to rebuck back, 'how how...what can you all do to me...i just wants to move, what can you all do to me?!' while rebucking back he moved nearer to us....but i think his gf pulled him...and then he moved to the back and cut into other ppl's line....but in the end we keep looking at him...and he went off boiled till the blood gg to dry already! HAHAHAHA....ROFL....we saw his tickets left with the last ride...and we were thinking, his previous 5 rides are all completed by cutting queue! idiotic bastard! still wants to beat us....! @#$%&

after this group, still got some more lor...but we don give them any chance of cutting queue and they also don dare to, knowing we are looking at them....idiot....how can they be like that la...spoil everyone's mood...but actually we enjoy scolding them! LOL...entertain us....everyone had been spending their time, queueing honestly and they just cut in and finish the ride faster than those who had been queueing fro hours behind....so unreasonable la.....CHEATERS!!!

they can conside themselves SUAY to meet us, the four CHIA ZA BOR!!! HAHAHA! =Pp

>>>finally we are on the boat!!! BYE CHEATERS!!

To Be continued.....

i LOVE cutting hair...

I ENJOY CUTTING HAIR!!!

wahaha...our schedule of cutting hair on wednesday was brought forward to sunday instead! haha...cos initially sunday we have to work till 5pm but luckily amtek let everyone off at 3pm!!! hehe...so early to reach home and we decided to cut our hair...due to everyone's kan chiong-ness...hahaha...so we had dinner at Raffles City and cut our hair at Tiffany......

we had 50% disount for the VIP card!!! haha...because we borrow it from Arthur.....and everyone choose th most expensive hair stylist...which is RMB$180...and i did straightening because my BoBo hair has to be straighten to return to my normal hair....haha...it cost me RMB$380 before discount...haha...

qianyu and jasmine did cutting only while felicia did treatment (RMB$580) and cut (RMB$180)...so after discount, my head cost me RMB$235 (S$40++), felicia's RMB$380 (S$76), both qianyu and jasmine's RMB$180 (S$36)....haha...damn cheap!!!! lalala...

jasmine's and my idea of big head shot!!! our new style....brought to u by Tiffany..

before cut, after straightening....

while waiting for my hair stylist to finish cutting qianyu's hair....felicia and jasmine finish already...
my individaul RMB$235 Big Head Shot!!! haha...rounded face!!! =X

we had Anderson's Ice-Cream after cutting our hair! hehe..buy one get one free!!! haha..

after this...we didnt go home and instead we join in the fun on the Nan Jing Dong Lu stret....it's the eve of China's National Day...so alot of people on the streets..and they buy those inflated balloons to hit each other....initially we thought it's childish but in the end we bought it and join in the fun! LOL...

Qin's Red Flinestone Weapon...hehe..

Jasmine's Blue Flinestone Weapon....

Qian Yu's Flinestone weapon...

Felicia's BIG BIG GIGANTIC Minnie HAMMER!!!

the FOUR of us along NanJingDongLu....omg...it's seriously crowded....haha...all kinds of people...

we walked to the Bund where pearl tower can be seen....there also alot of people.....alot of couples at there romantic-ing....!!! haha...ok so there is this couple handy panky then start kissing....lol...felicia, jasmine and i stood beside them and watch! WAHAHA...obviously it's on purpose! haha...that's what my sec geography teacher taught me...they did it the public for you to see, why don't see?! haha...den we saw an old dirty dirty man came and walked even nearer to the other couple who is only romantic-ing...haven into the stage of kissing...haha...because beside them, that 2 couple already finish handy panky and goes to the stage of french kissing already..haha...

this stupid pervertic ah pek...stand closer and closer to the lady (whose butt is facing outside)....and his tt private part got nearer and nearer la!!! OMG la...we are so angry...and thinking shld we tell that couple or fake fake walked past tt ah pek and use our Flinestone weapon to hit him....but we did on purpose talk loud about him saying it's so disgusting and you see you see he gg nearer! diao..but the stupid couple...is donno didnt feel or wat...still continue to handy panky! finally the lady got some feeling and turn n look...but she didnt do anything and neither the boyfriend did anything...wa faint...we all see already also angry....and finally the guy protect his girl by standing in front of her...diao....but the ah pek still stand so near!!! we thought they shld move to other side! still continue to stand there lor! ..... don unstd why they don wan to move away...

we took cab home at around 12 plus midnight...tiring~! haha...((=

PS: for more photos...HERE!